August 15, 2021
Prelude: Rosemary Nettrouer
Announcements
Thank you, Rosemary, for the music. Thanks for technical support by Michael Barrett, Joe Dawley, and Erin DeGroot, with music coordination by Dawn Blue.
A special thanks this week, too, to Erin and Dan DeGroot and other volunteers for making our Family Promise week work.
- Thank you for wearing your mask to help protect the unvaccinated among us.
- Offering plates are near the front and the back of the meeting room. Thank you!
- We are worshiping in person and live streaming on Facebook and the church website ( wichitaquakers.org).
- Please feel free to share our worship with your Facebook friends by posting a link.
- Please also feel free to comment on the Facebook page with prayer concerns, announcements, or words of ministry.
- And if you worship with us online only and would like to be more connected, please leave a message on the Facebook page or the church website.
- Church activities this week:
- Sunday, August 15, 11:00 am, 205 Sunday School Class
- Sunday, August 15, 11:20 am, Family Promise clean-up
- Tuesday, August 17, 5:30 pm, Outreach Committee Meeting
- Tuesday, August 17, 7:00 pm, Good Times Squares Dance
- Thursday, August 19, 5:30 pm, Assets Committee Meeting
- Sunday, August 22, 11:00 am, Monthly Meeting
Welcome & Greeting one another
Music: “Blest Be the Tie That Binds,” Hymn #135
Call to Worship: Matthew 18:3-4 (NRSV)
Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”
Centering Meditation
Music: “This Little Light of Mine,” 2 verses: This Little Light of Mine and All Around the World
Children’s Message
Prayer Concerns
- Our church’s pastoral search
- Afghanistan
- Pandemic
- Back to school
Pastoral Prayer
Message: “What’s so Good about Marriage? Children”
Scripture: Psalm 127:3-5
At our June Monthly Meeting for worship with attention to business, we suggested that maybe it’s time to consider approving Great Plains Yearly Meeting’s “Statement of Inclusion.”
In light of that, I embarked on a series of messages about the theology of marriage and sexuality.
The first message in this series focused on the creation story of Genesis 1. In this story, God created human beings in God’s image, and God created human beings as male and female. That is, this story suggests that we have a position of privilege with regard to the rest of creation, a blessing and a responsibility. This story also suggests that our sexuality is a gift, as much a part of our humanity as being made in the image of God. It, too, is a blessing and a responsibility.
The second message in the series took up the story of Sodom and Gomorrah from Genesis 19. What do we learn from that story? We learn to “… show hospitality to strangers, deal justly with the poor and vulnerable, and … [do] not force … sexual attention upon those unwilling to receive” it (Scanzoni and Mollenkott, Is the Homosexual My Neighbor?, p. 62).
The third message looked at rules in Leviticus 18 and 20, part of the Holiness Code. For us, being holy doesn’t mean following those rules. For us, living a holy life means being transformed by the Spirit of God, living a life of love for God and self and neighbor, in our sex lives and in every other aspect of our lives.
The fourth message in the series examined Paul’s perspective as set out in the first two chapters in his letter to the church in Rome. I said that while Paul’s moral judgment on same-sex desires and behaviors is … fairly clear, Paul’s judgment isn’t particularly helpful as we sort out the questions of sexual ethics that confront us today.
The essential point Paul makes is that everyone knows right from wrong, and everyone has done wrong. The goal is not to make judgments about other people. The goal is to receive God’s “kindness and forbearance and patience.” Receive it. Be grateful for it. And, by the grace of God and the power of the Spirit, get your act together.
So, Genesis 19 (the story of Sodom and Gomorrah), Leviticus 18 and 20 (the rules about holy living), and Romans 1 (Paul’s perspective) are the main texts people point to when they want to justify condemnation of same-sex relationships.
Those who want to justify condemnation of same-sex relationships also point to two other texts: 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 and 1 Timothy 1:8-11. I am going to talk about them briefly, then move on to the Christian theology of marriage.
Warning: the next few minutes will include talk about sexual behaviors. Ready?
Here’s 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 in the New Revised Standard Version:
9 Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, male prostitutes, sodomites, 10 thieves, the greedy, drunkards, revilers, robbers—none of these will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And this is what some of you used to be. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.
I wonder sometimes what the church would be like if we excluded greedy people the same way we have excluded some of the others on this list. 😊
Here’s 1 Timothy 1:8-11 in the New Revised Standard Version:
8 Now we know that the law is good, if one uses it legitimately. 9 This means understanding that the law is laid down not for the innocent but for the lawless and disobedient, for the godless and sinful, for the unholy and profane, for those who kill their father or mother, for murderers, 10 fornicators, sodomites, slave traders, liars, perjurers, and whatever else is contrary to the sound teaching 11 that conforms to the glorious gospel of the blessed God….
Clearly, both of these passages include lists of undesirable behaviors or qualities. And both lists include in this translation, the word “sodomites.” In English, according to the dictionary, a sodomite is someone who commits sodomy, and sodomy is anal or oral sex. That’s not necessarily limited to LGBTQ people.
And is sodomy what this text really means to condemn? We don’t know. The Greek word translated sodomite here is not a word used elsewhere, and because these are lists, the context doesn’t give us any help.
This word, then, is not a strong foundation for a condemnation of same-sex relationships or LBGTQ people.
The Message puts 1 Corinthians 6 this way: people in God’s kingdom ought not “use and abuse each other, use and abuse sex, use and abuse the earth and everything in it.” So, as members of God’s kingdom, we are called to treat one another with love and respect, treat our bodies and our sexuality with love and respect, and to treat the earth with love and respect. And that applies to all of us.
Where does that leave us? As I have written elsewhere,
… those who argue from the Bible against the moral validity of same-sex relationships cite a handful of passages as standing consistently and firmly against homosexuality, and some who argue for the moral validity of same-sex relationships contest the relevance of these passages to the contemporary debate. One scholar, James Hanigan, argues against the moral validity of same-sex relationships and concedes that the Bible is not going to help:
… One is forced to agree … with [the] conclusion that ‘biblical judgments against homosexuality are not relevant to today’s debate. They should no longer be used … not because the Bible is not authoritative, but simply because it does not address the issues involved.’ (Hanigan, Homosexuality, 41, citing Robin Scroggs, The New Testament and Homosexuality, 127)
The Bible simply doesn’t consider the idea of a sexual orientation in which one might understand oneself as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transexual, or queer.
Nor does the Bible consider the possibility of a loving, committed same-sex relationship or marriage. (Griffith dissertation, 13)
Then, what? If the Bible doesn’t really address the questions that we’re trying to find answers to, what do we do?
What I have done in my academic work is look at the Christian theology of marriage as it has come down to us from Augustine through Thomas Aquinas and Martin Luther into the twenty-first century. How might that understanding of marriage apply to same-sex relationships? I started with the writings of Augustine, a bishop in northern Africa in the late 4th and early 5th centuries, whose work has formed a foundation for much Christian theology.
In the year 401, Augustine tackled the theology of marriage in a document we sometimes call “The Good of Marriage.” He was arguing for marriage against those who thought Christians shouldn’t marry. If, as Paul suggested in 1 Corinthians 7, it’s better for Christians not to marry, what’s good about marriage? Why shouldn’t we all just stay single and celibate?
Augustine came up with several things that are good about marriage. As he put them, they are procreation, the sacramental bond, a remedy for concupiscence, fidelity, and companionship. I plan to unpack each of them over the next few weeks.
Today, what’s so good about marriage? Children. One reason marriage is good is because it provides for the having and raising of children. And some people argue that because same-sex couples can’t have children the usual way, that’s one reason Christians ought to say no to same-sex relationships.
Augustine wrote, “… children are to be lovingly received, brought up with tender care, and given a religious education” (Griffith, 31). But he also held that, while procreation is one of the reasons marriage is good, it is not essential to marriage. He acknowledged (1) that persons could share in procreation through adoption and (2) that the companionship of marriage makes even a childless marriage legitimate.
I think about my mom’s dad who eloped at the age of 89 with his friend Muriel, who was in her early 90s. They weren’t able to have children, but Grandpa bought a new bed, and they had a number of happy years together. Augustine’s teaching would give them a thumbs up.
I also think about my friends Ted and Aron, two men who, when I first met them, said they had been practicing marriage without a license for 20 years. They had adopted two boys from the Dominican Republic. Ted and Aron weren’t able to have children, but they were raising their sons in the context of Charlottesville Friends Meeting. They were sharing in procreation through adoption.
Like Ted and Aron, some same-sex couples do have and raise children: some adopt children; some raise their own children from pervious relationships; and some use artificial insemination or surrogate mothers to have children. (Griffith, 33)
Also, if the companionship of marriage can justify a childless heterosexual marriage, the same might be said of a same-sex marriage. Companionship is reason enough.
Those basic ideas – that marriage provides for the having and raising of children, but that marriage is legitimate even for people who cannot have children – have held up over the centuries.
Twentieth-century Western Christian thought about marriage continued these ideas about the importance of having and raising children, but it also began to put more emphasis on the value of a couple’s relationship – love and companionship. In this context, Catholics developed the concept of responsible parenthood, which urges couples to take personal and social elements into consideration when they decide about becoming parents. (Griffith 42)
To the extent that one affirms parenthood as a Christian responsibility best undertaken in the context of a lasting, loving partnership, nothing on principle would prevent same-sex couples from accepting the ask with the same thoughtfulness and faith as do heterosexual couples. (Griffith, 46)
In the context of that new focus on love and companionship in marriage, some Protestants argued that having children enhances marital love, even that
full marital companionship requires children. Here’s one example:
… some wives and husbands … imagine that by refusing the ‘burden’ of children, they can achieve a better partnership, a higher intimacy. The problem here is that their partnership was designed for raising children, and any so-called intimacy which is deliberately close to new life is merely a collaboration in selfishness. Children change us in a way we desperately need to be changed. They wake us up, then knock us out of our selfish habits and force us to live sacrificially for others; they are they necessary and natural continuation of the shock to our selfishness which is initiated by marriage itself. (Budziszewski, “Foreword,” in Open Embrace, Torode, xiv-xv)
From this point of view, children help a couple grow out of selfishness.
Yet even those who take this position acknowledge that people can participate in the benefits of procreation – that turning away from selfishness – in ways other than having their own children.
One book asserts,
… whether single or married, baren or fertile, God wants us to spend our lives loving others. These include babies, children, friends, strangers, the sick, the elderly, family, and foreigners. If you are single or barren, you have an opportunity to channel your love into lonely people (both children and adults) that others are too busy to care for. (Torode, Open Embrace, 106)
From this perspective, the value to a relationship is not procreation itself but living for others, and people who do not have their own children can do that in a variety of ways (Griffith, 48).
What’s so good about marriage? It provides for the having and raising of children. Some would argue that, since same-sex couples can’t have children, they can’t meet the requirements of Christian marriage.
But the Christian tradition has, from its earliest days, said couples who can’t have children can participate in this good in a variety of ways. And the Christian tradition has, from its earliest days, recognized that having and raising children isn’t the only reason to get married. Loving each other has value in itself.
Open Worship:
Enjoy the quiet as a respite from life’s busyness.
Connect with God and with one another in prayer.
Open yourself to the healing Light of God’s Spirit.
Find grounding in love and gratitude.
Share vocal ministry as God leads.
Benediction
Postlude: Rosemary Nettrouer
Technology provided by Michael Barrett, Joe Dawley, and Erin DeGroot. Music coordination by Dawn Blue, and pastoral leadership by Catherine Griffith.
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