CATHERINE GRIFFITH | January 26, 2020
James 1:19-27
The title of this message, “Be Angry and Sin Not,” comes from Ephesians 4:26. Here’s more from that passage (NRSV):
26 Be angry but do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and do not make room for the devil. … 29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only what is useful for building up,[a] as there is need, so that your words may give grace to those who hear. … 31 Put away from you all bitterness and wrath and anger and wrangling and slander, together with all malice, 32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ has forgiven you.[b]
Note that this verse in Ephesians seems to suggest that it is possible to be angry and not sin.
But that idea stands in some tension with other verses:
• Matthew 5:22 says, “… anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment.”
• Colossians 3:8 says we must rid ourselves of anger.
• James 1:20 says, “… anger does not produce God’s righteousness.”
Clearly anger can be a problem. How so? [Wait for answers.]
What’s so bad about anger?
• We can use anger to fuel an attack toward a person (yourself or another).
• Anger can escalate a simple disagreement into serious conflict.
• Sometimes anger is simply a waste of energy. If someone cuts me off in traffic, I can get angry, or I can ease off the gas and let it go.
I remember hearing a joke about a farmer and a mule. It could be a Baptist farmer or a Methodist farmer, but it might also be a Quaker farmer. (I’m playing with the original joke a bit.)
Back in the day, early one Saturday morning, a Quaker farmer and her neighbor had loaded up a wagon with produce to take into town to sell at the farmer’s market. They hitched up the mule and set off.
Everything went along fine for a while, and the two neighbors were having a good conversation about last Sunday’s football game when all of a sudden, the mule stopped dead in its tracks. That mule wasn’t going a step further. I mean, it’s a mule – what do you expect?
So, the farmer tried talking nicely to the mule. “Come, Gus. Let’s go.” Nothing. She looked at her watch to check the time and knew it was going to be tight to get to the farmer’s market on time.
She flicked the reigns to encourage the mule along. Not a step. The farmer got more and more frustrated. She slapped the mule on the behind. Same result – nothing. Arg!
She handed her neighbor the reigns and started searching in the back of the wagon. There she found a shovel, picked it up, got down off the wagon seat, walked around to look the mule in the eye and then whacked that mule on the head with the flat of the shovel.
The neighbor was a little startled, as was the mule. As the farmer got back onto the wagon seat and put the shovel away, her neighbor remarked, “Maybe you need to deal with your anger issues.”
And the farmer replied, “I wasn’t angry. I was just getting the mule’s attention.”
Note: If someone says, I’m not angry with you, but…. They are probably actually angry. If you say I’m not angry, but… you are probably actually angry.
Sometimes our desire to live at peace with one another is so strong that we live in denial about real difficulties in ourselves and in our relationships. “I’m not angry.” “I’m not angry.” “I’m not angry.”
Sometimes our desire to live at peace with God is so strong that we live in denial about who we really are.
That denial can sabotage our own becoming. It can sabotage our relationships with other people. It can sabotage a real relationship with God.
If anger can be a problem, and denying anger can be a problem, what might be some alternatives? I have three bits for you to think about.
(1) As you may know, I read a lot. The book I am currently reading is Inheritance by Christopher Paolini. It’s the fourth book in a four-part series recommended to me by my 14-year-old granddaughter, Naomi. The books feature Eragon (a dragon-rider) and Saphira, his blue dragon.
One day, when Eragon and Saphira had some free time, they
went to the sparring field at the rear of the … camp.
There Eragon met with Arya [a female elf who was trying to teach him the finer points of fighting with a sword] ….
Eragon and Arya picked up their swords and their shields and faced each other in the sparring field.
They circled each other with short, smooth steps, moving like dancers over the uneven ground, … never looking away from one another. (p. 223)
Match after match they fought, until they were tired, sweaty, and coated with dust, and Eragon was striped with many painful welts. And still they continued to dash themselves against one another with a grim-faced determination… (p. 225).
The longer he fought with Arya, the more frustrated Eragon became. He won two of their matches … but except for those isolated victories, Arya continued to beat him with depressing ease (p. 226).
Eventually, Eragon’s anger and frustration boiled over, and all sense of proportion deserted him. … Eragon lifted his right arm and prepared to throw [his sword] at Arya… (p. 227).
At that moment, Eragon’s teacher Glaedr interrupted.
You have allowed yourself to become angrier than you should, said Glaedr softly. Anger has its place, but it will not help you here. The way of the warrior is the way of knowing. If that knowledge requires you to use anger, then you use anger, but you cannot wrest forth knowledge by losing your temper. Pain and frustration will be your only reward if your try. (p. 235).
Anger has its place. You cannot wrest forth knowledge by losing your temper.
(2) Martha Nussbaum is an important philosopher who teaches law and ethics at the University of Chicago. She has written extensively about “the relationship between literature and philosophy” (p. ix, Love’s Knowledge). For example, she believes we can learn lessons about life and how to live it from plays and novels. In her book, Love’s Knowledge, she spends several chapters “interpreting the behavior of some characters in the novels of Henry James” (https://www.nytimes.com/…/henry-james-among-the-philosopher…).
Nussbaum has also written about “the role of emotions in deliberation and self-knowledge” (p. ix, Love’s Knowledge).
“Emotions, it is said, are unreliable, animal, seductive. They lead away from the cool reflection that alone is capable of delivering a considered judgment” (Nussbaum, Love’s Knowledge, p. 40).
Some say, “emotions are blind animal reactions, like or identical with bodily feelings, that are in their nature unmixed with thought, undiscriminating, and impervious to reasoning” (Nussbaum, Love’s Knowledge, p. 40). On this view, I feel angry or sad the same way I feel hungry or thirsty.
Nussbaum argues that this view is incorrect.
“Being angry,” she suggests, “is not like experiencing a bodily appetite. Hunger and thirst do seem to be relatively impervious to changes in belief, but anger seems to require and to rest upon a belief that one has been wronged or damaged in some significant way by the person toward whom the anger is directed. The discovery that this belief is false (either that the event in question did not take place, or that the damage is after all trivial, or that it was not caused by that person) can be expected to remove the anger toward that person” (Nussbaum, Love’s Knowledge, p. 41).
How does that work? If I hear that my friend Tom started a rumor that I cheated on my taxes when I didn’t, I could with some reason be angry with my friend Tom.
Anger rests upon a belief that I have been wronged. In this case, I believe my friend Tom damaged my reputation.
If I discover that Tom didn’t start that rumor, then I am no longer angry at him. He didn’t start the rumor, and he didn’t damage my reputation, so the anger drains away.
Nussbaum’s point is that anger has a cognitive element, a rational piece. Anger has a place as a part of knowing.
(3) Harriet Lerner, a clinical psychologist, wrote a couple of books that I have found very valuable. One is called The Dance of Intimacy, and I will recommend it if you’re feeling brave about facing your own issues. I’m not going to say any more about that this morning.
Another of Lerner’s books is The Dance of Anger. I have also found it helpful, and I will talk some more about what she says about anger.
The first chapter of The Dance of Anger begins with these words:
Anger is a signal, and one worth listening to. Our anger may be a message that we are being hurt, that our rights are being violated, that our needs or wants are not being adequately met, or simply that something is not right. Our anger may tell us that we are not addressing an important emotional issue in our lives, or that too much of our self – our beliefs, values, desires, or ambitions – is being compromised in a relationship. Our anger may be a signal that we are doing more and giving more than we can comfortably do or give. Or our anger may warn us that others are doing too much for us, at the expense of our own competence and growth. Just as physical pain tells us to take our hand off the hot stove, the pain of our anger preserves the very integrity of our self. Our anger can motivate us to say ‘no’ to the ways in which we are defined by others and ‘yes’ to the dictates of our inner self. (p. 1)
A few pages later, Lerner continues: “Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention” (4).
She’s not saying that we ought always to express our anger, just that our anger deserves our attention.
Lerner goes on:
There are questions about anger … that may be helpful to ask ourselves: “What am I really angry about?” “What is the problem, and whose problem is it?” “How can I sort out who is responsible for what?” “How can I learn to express my anger in a way that will not leave me feeling helpless and powerless?” “When I’m angry, how can I clearly communicate my position without becoming defensive or attacking?” (p. 4)
Anger is a signal worth listening to. When we listen to it, we learn about ourselves and our relationships.
If anger is a sign that we believe something we value is being threatened, paying attention to anger can help us get clearer about what we value. Paying attention to anger can help us get clearer about what seems to be threatened. Paying attention to anger can help us decide how to address the real problem. Paying attention to anger can help us figure out what to do next that will be fruitful and constructive rather than harmful.
What happens when we don’t attend to anger’s message?
• We can get bitter. When looking for more information on bitterness, I came across this: “Sometimes people who are handed lemons don’t make lemonade” (https://www.aconsciousrethink.com/8431/bitter-person/). They don’t make the best of a bad situation. They don’t simply pay attention to the damage that’s been done to them; they cherish that damage and nurture bitterness.
• We can get depressed. Some depression is buried anger.
• We can develop hostility or even hatred. Yes?
If we don’t pay attention to anger’s message, we don’t learn what we value, and we don’t learn how what we value is being threatened.
Anger is a signal worth listening to. It’s not something to cherish until it turns to bitterness. It’s not something to use a weapon.
Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger. (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/…)
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Be angry, and sin not.
